Death Letter
by Red Shoe Kitty
Summary: A simple alien retrieval goes wrong


Gwen, Ianto and Jack approached the Naxorian carefully. The size of a large domestic cat, it was sitting on it haunches watching them with large dark eyes and grooming its purple silky fur 'Aah, it looks so cute' said Gwen. The Naxorian purred happily and batted its ridiculously long lashes at her.

'Yeah' said Jack, 'Don't let it fool you. Despite its appearance it's one of the most effective predators in the known universe, it's the most toxic of all creatures in the Naxos arm of the galaxy, in fact in most galaxies; its breath, claws, fur, spit all highly poisonous. Don't let any part of it touch you – we need to get this thing back through the rift before someone gets dead'

Ianto approached the Naxorian with caution and chocolate. 'Here you go beautiful,' he said soothingly, 'yummy white chocolate, num, num, num' Jack threw him a look 'num, num, num?' he queried. Ianto ignored him, keeping his eyes on the creature in front of him. The Naxorian gave a little chirrup and hopped forward to scoop up the chocolate. 'Yeah, you like that, don't you, cutie?' said Ianto, softly. Jack leant in to Gwen and whispered, 'he says that to me too' Gwen rolled her eyes at him.

'Any chance of you two focussing on the task in hand here' asked Ianto, sternly as he threw another rich vanilla square towards the creature which followed him trustingly, its beautiful eyes fixed on the chocolate in Ianto's hand. Ianto had almost reached the rift when the Naxorian caught Gwen's scent – with a squeal of distress it turned and ran towards the rift, Ianto jumped hastily to one side. As the Naxorian disappeared, its long floaty tail brushed so lightly against Ianto's exposed ankle that it was imperceptible to him.

Back at the Hub, Gwen went to update the creature database and Jack disappeared into his office, calling over his shoulder, 'Ianto, pizza!' Ianto pulled out his phone and stood looking blankly at the key pad, 'I can't remember the number' he muttered as he opened his contacts list, 'unbelievable I dial it two or three times a week.' Whilst placing the order Ianto also noticed that he was having difficulty annunciating certain words, what on earth was the matter with him? His brain felt like it was made of wet cardboard and he felt flu-y and achy and he was so hot. He took off his jacket and his tie. He fumbled slightly as if his fingers had forgotten what to do. He hoped he wasn't coming down with anything – he and Jack had a big date planned for the following night.

By the time the food arrived, Gwen and Jack were in the board room with beer; Jack was teasing Gwen about how the Naxorian had not liked her smell and Gwen, like the good Welsh girl she was, was giving as good as she got. Ianto entered carrying the pizzas, he slightly misjudged the doorway and banged into the door jamb with his shoulder, squinting a little in the light and blinking hard he carefully placed the boxes onto the table and straightened up swaying and breathing heavily. Gwen and Jack looked up startled. As well as removing his jacket and his tie, Ianto had unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt which he had pulled up to hang outside of his trousers. Gwen had never seen him look so dishevelled. Jack narrowed his eyes, 'Ianto are you OK? You don't look so good' He stood up and moved close to Ianto to look into his face. He could feel the heat of Ianto's body though his clothes. Jack lay a gentle hand on Ianto's forehead, 'Christ, you are burning up!' he exclaimed. Ianto looked at Jack dolefully, 'Jack, Jack, I don't feel so...' his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed at Jacks feet.

Jack scooped up Ianto's unconscious body and raced to the medical bay with him. He took blood, ran some tests, then ran a hand held med scan over Ianto's body. Gwen watched from the viewing landing. 'Is he going to be OK' she asked anxiously. Jack looked up, his face stricken, 'The Naxorian must have touched him.' he said, 'His system has been infiltrated with toxins; I'm reading early organ failure he's got about 5 days before all his vital systems crash completely'

Gwen looked at Jack, 'but we can find a cure – right?'

Jack raised a face that was smeared with pain and misery and shook his head

'No' Gwen hurried down into the room; 'there must be something we can do!'

'Gwen,' Jack said, 'the physicians of seven galaxies have worked for millennia to find an antidote to Naxorian toxins. Why do you think the entire star system is quarantined?'

Furious Gwen pushed Jack hard, he staggered back against the wall, 'No' she shouted, 'You fix this Jack, fix it!'

Jack shook his head and a tear shone on his cheek, 'I can't. I can't fix it, there's nothing I can do. There is no known cure. Ianto is going to die'

Gwen had never felt so completely useless. Over-riding Jack's objections that there was nothing to be done and that they should keep Ianto at the Hub, she had called an ambulance and had Ianto transferred to the local Accident & Emergency Department. Unable to diagnose what was affecting Ianto, the A&E consultant had admitted him to the Intensive Care Unit to monitor his vital systems. Jack hadn't left Ianto's side since he had collapsed at the Hub. Gwen felt shut out completely, she had tried talking to Jack but he wouldn't even look at her, his eyes remained fixed on Ianto's face.

'Please Jack, Gwen had said, 'let me in, you're not the only one losing him, you know' Jack sat in silence; 'Fine, then' she said, 'but I'll still come every day, you don't have the monopoly on friendship here!'

And she did, every day she went into the Intensive Care Unit to find Jack at the side of the bed, holding Ianto's hand in both of his. Gwen was sure he didn't move from one day to the next. She wasn't even convinced Jack was eating anything. She had tried taking him a coffee on the first day of his vigil, only to have Jack throw it against the wall. 'No coffee until Ianto makes it for me' That had been the last time he'd spoken to her...or anyone at all except the still, silent figure in the bed.

Jack looked down at the deceptively peaceful face of Ianto Jones and tenderly brushed his hair back from his face, God, he loved that hair. 'Please Ianto, stay with me,' he said softly, 'please fight this, I can't lose you. Don't leave me.' In despair he rested his head on Ianto's hand and gave way to grief. Unbelievably, Jack felt the soft touch of a tender hand on his hair, on a wave of hope he raised his head. Ianto was staring at him with such love on his face that Jack felt his heart falter. 'Jack' he croaked. With his fingers Jack gently moistened Ianto's lips with water from the jug on the bedside locker and felt Ianto kiss them gently. 'Jack, I-I love you' Jack shook his head, 'don't, don't try to talk' he whispered, 'save your strength for getting better'

Ianto gave a grimace, 'not gonna happen' his voice was so weak Jack had to bend close to Ianto's lips to hear him. Jack looked into Ianto's eyes, 'Ianto, I,I...' Ianto gave a small smile, he was finding it difficult to breathe so his words were punctuated by long shuddering respirations, 'you still... can't say it... can you? Doesn't matter... just know... I love you...so mu...' He closed his eyes and the hand that had been resting on Jacks head slid down Jack's face and onto the bed; the monitor alarms began to sound.

Gwen heard the commotion as she approached the room where Ianto was, an icicle of terror stabbed her heart and she broke into a run. Rounding a corner she skidded to a stop in disbelief. Coat tails flying, Jack Harkness was striding down the corridor with the naked body of Ianto Jones cradled in his arms, tears pouring down his face. He was being pursued by a doctor, two nurses and a security guard. 'Stop' cried the doctor, 'what do you think you are doing, who the hell are you?' Gwen stood in front of them all, gun out, covering Jack's retreat 'We're Torchwood,' she said, 'and we're taking our friend home'

It was fortunate, thought Gwen, that rift activity was minimal because at the moment she _was _Torchwood. Apart from some sporadic weevil activity which she had been able to manage on her own, she spent her time monitoring the rift and then crying herself to sleep in Rhys's arms at night. A grimly silent Jack had gently placed Ianto's body in a cryo-chamber whilst Gwen sobbed helplessly beside him. He had placed a long kiss on Ianto's cold lips and sealed the chamber personally. Then he had shut himself in his office for three days. Gwen just didn't know what to do to reach him.

Gwen had finally gathered the emotional strength to clear Ianto's work space. She went sadly through the drawers which were immaculately neat. Right at the back of a drawer, underneath Ianto's stopwatch, she found a carved wooden box. She opened the lid and her eyes filled with tears, Ianto had kept the plush tiger Tosh used to keep on her work station, one of the brightly coloured badges that Owen used to wear on his white coat was there too, a handful of glittery birthday confetti, a measuring tape, the order of service from Gwen and Rhys's wedding, photos of Ianto's niece and nephew, an engagement ring in a velvet lined silver box engraved "Lisa & Ianto" and a date which was a month after the battle of Canary Wharf (God, thought Gwen, he never even got the chance to propose to her), an entry ticket from the zoo and button from Jack's greatcoat completed the collection. Behind the box she found a small leather frame, in it was a picture of Jack and Ianto, it looked as if it had been taken on the quay. They had their arms around each other and were both smiling into each other's eyes, with so much love. Oh Ianto' she whispered, as tears cascaded down her face. Right at the back of the drawer Gwen found an envelope addressed to Jack in Ianto's neat hand, Right then, she thought to herself.

The crash of the office door being kicked open penetrated the fog of misery in which Jack had been sitting since Ianto's death. He looked up, Gwen stood in the doorway. 'Go away' said Jack, flatly. Gwen slapped an envelope down on Jack's desk. He looked at it and at the sight of Ianto's hand writing his eyes filled with tears, 'Jack,' said Gwen, 'You need to snap out of this. I can't do all this on my own. I need you. You weren't the only one who loved Ianto, you know!'

Jack stood up, 'I didn't tell him' he shouted, 'he never knew' his voice dropped and broke, 'he never knew. I should have kept him safe, I should have been able to make this right, but I didn't…I couldn't.' He took a deep shuddering breath, 'get out' Gwen opened her mouth to remonstrate and Jack pointed his gun at her, 'get...out!' Gwen looked at his face and backed slowly out of the room, closing the door gently behind her.

Jack sat for a long time, looking at the envelope that Ianto had left for him. He knew what it was, it was a death letter. He had read any number and even written a few himself; letters to be given to relatives, lovers or friends in the event of one's death, letters of love, or regret or apology. He didn't want to open this one; he knew that if he read it would mean that he would have to finally accept that Ianto was really gone, he wasn't ready to do that, he wouldn't ever be ready to do that. He picked up the envelope, took a deep breath, opened it and shook the contents onto his desk.

It wasn't a letter, it was a photograph. Jack picked it up. He remembered it being taken. It was at a Christmas party, Ianto was laughing at someone or something outside of the shot, behind him stood Jack, smiling, looking at Ianto with so much love in his face. He had been unaware that he had given himself away to that extent. Jack touched the image of Ianto's face with his fingers, remembering the first time he had touched him properly. It had been down in the archives, not long after the Torchwood team had "dealt with" Lisa, when Ianto had seemed so lost, so desolate, so broken. Jack smiled when he remembered how surprised he had been by Ianto's reaction to his caress, how the passion with which Ianto had responded to him had made him realise just how much he had underestimated this young man. He turned the picture over; he couldn't bear to look at it. On the back Ianto had written,

_'Don't beat yourself up, Jack; I knew how much you loved me, I always knew'_

Jack held the photograph in his hands and in a voice harsh with pain and grief whispered 'Ianto Jones, I did love you, I just didn't realise how much, I should have told you every day. Ianto, Ianto... '

'Jack, Jack' someone was shaking him. Jack opened his eyes, blinking in the soft lighting, Ianto was leaning over him looking anxiously into his face, 'you were having a bad dream'

Jack cradled Ianto's face in his hands as a wave of relief swept though him. 'Ianto' he whispered, 'Ianto'

Ianto smiled and kissed his forehead, 'what were you dreaming about?' he said

'Can't remember'

'It sounded pretty full on, you kept saying my name'

Jack closed his eyes, remembering the only desolation of his dream; the details were slipping away from him. 'I wish I could recall it' he told Ianto, 'I think that... that you were lost, I couldn't find you'

Ianto smiled, 'you sounded pretty desperate'

'I had something to tell you, it was really important, something you needed to know...I wish I could remember' Jack was starting to sound panicky.

'Shhh, shhh, shhh, it's not important. It was just a bad dream. I'm here with you now and I'm not going anywhere'

'Yeah well I'm not used to dreams, good or bad' said Jack, with a flash of his former self, 'this would be why I think this sleeping thing is way over rated'

Ianto kissed him; 'there are better things to do in bed' he smiled. He stroked Jack's face, pulled him close and slid his hand further down Jack's body. Then the dream faded away entirely and Jack completely forgot what it was he had meant to say next.


End file.
